How Do I Break the Ice?

Have you ever attended a Guild function and felt like you were the only person there who didn’t know anyone? Guild events are intended to be mixers, but what if mixing isn’t your forte? Career Longevity Committee (CLC) Chair Aaron Wiener, whose credits include Resident Alien and Sydney to the Max, has some tips.

Photo by Jay Lawrence Goldman

Question: “Do you have any tips for approaching people you don’t know at Guild functions without feeling like an ass?”

Aaron Wiener: I have a confession: I’m a natural introvert.

Talking to people, especially in large groups, has never been my superpower. It’s awkward and it feels unnatural. What does my daughter say? “It’s cringe, Dad.”

But here’s the thing, I’ve always been a growth-mindset guy. Anything that didn’t come naturally felt like an opportunity, a gift, to level up my game. And becoming comfortable acting like an extrovert? That’s been a 25-year slow-burn character arc for this shy guy from Florida.

So, if approaching someone cold at a networking event feels like nails on the writers’ room whiteboard to you, here are some tips that have given me new life:

1. Start with what you already share.
At a WGAW event, the ice is basically pre-broken. We’re all creatives. We’re all writers. We all crawled through the same trenches to land in that room.

Ask the easy stuff:

“What do you write?”

“What got you into the Guild?”

“What are you working on now?”

These work every time.

2. Be curious. And then shut up.
People love talking about themselves. Let them. Ask follow-ups, encourage them to go deeper, and shape your reactions so they feel heard. Your secret power move is real, old-fashioned curiosity.

3. Give a genuine compliment.
If they worked on something you loved, say it! We overthink this way too much. Never have I ever been annoyed when someone said they enjoyed a show I wrote on. Not once. Compliments are little conversational cheat codes.

4. Use the moment you’re both in.
Look around. What’s happening that you can both comment on?

“How’s this holiday party treating you? Are you traveling anywhere over the break?”

“Have you seen any of this director’s other films? Which was your favorite?”

“I’m really excited about this panel on foreign tax credits. Have you ever filmed outside of the country?”

People respond easily when they share common ground.

5. Ask for help. It’s disarming and human.
Real example: The other night at dinner, my wife and I were debating whether you’re supposed to tip your babysitter, beyond their standard rates. Our waitress walked by, and I asked her opinion. She was so excited to share. Boom. Invitation to help accepted! People love to assist when you give them the opportunity.

And to wrap this up, here’s the real real:
That awkward flutter you’re feeling in your belly never totally disappears. Even after 25 years, I still walk into crowded rooms feeling overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted.

But knowing almost everyone in that room feels the same way? Oddly comforting. 

By the way, this would be another great idea for your opening line.

So next time we’re at an event…come say hi. And use this article as your opportunity to do it.